Untitled by Indigo Moon

Sometimes my joy
feels and looks
a lot like pain
Today
I’m exactly where I ought to be
my Life has been waiting for me to arrive here
and I feel that in the nerves of my stomach

Leaving one thing
and arriving at another
gives me aches
I am mourning the death of
what once was
while celebrating
new Life
born within and around me

Sometimes acheiving
feels and looks
a lot like a flashback
I am suddenly remembering all the trauma
I’ve lived through
and feel a need to reflect
on my whole Life
for weeks
after the fruitful change

It’s like a sadness pouring out of me
along with all the times
I thought I couldn’t
couldn’t do it, see it, feel it,
it’s a painful release
because the only way out
is through

I will claim a spot on the couch or bed
where I will stay for hours
in my own haze
Taking space to be in my own world
until I’ve fully rearranged what
my world
is anymore
My energy is low
I want space
but also affection and Love

I’ve learned that
sometimes fulfilling
your true Heart’s purpose
is the most painful of all

--Indigo Moon