Punk Monk Press/Magazine

From the evening of our first fuck until the afternoon that I buried what was meant to be our child within the mineral-rich, Midwestern soil, I collected his essence within a wide band of porous leather that I kept strapped around my left wrist. As his most primal aspects had, over time, seeped into the fibers, the once stiff cuff softened and molded to the curve of my arm like a second skin. Suffice it to say, I carried him and each one of our shared experiences with me everywhere my journey led. I wasted nothing of our early encounters. The sweat that ran along his freshly-shaven skull and across his temple, that sweltering Wednesday evening which imprinted me in the last gasp of an extended Indian summer, tripped along his jaw joint and released, one bulbous drop after another. His vitriolic excretions splashed onto my face, blinding me for the briefest moment with their salty sting. A couple of months later, the viscosity of his cum, which I had learned so well,

i'm just content sitting here not yet under the jurisdiction of the fucking worms --Rob Plath

Sometimes my joy feels and looks a lot like pain Today I’m exactly where I ought to be my Life has been waiting for me to arrive here and I feel that in the nerves of my stomach Leaving one thing and arriving at another gives me aches I am mourning the death of what once was while celebrating new Life born within and around me Sometimes acheiving feels and looks a lot like a flashback I am suddenly remembering all the trauma I’ve lived through and feel a need to reflect on my whole Life for weeks after the fruitful change It’s like a sadness pouring out of me along with all the times I thought I couldn’t couldn’t do it, see it, feel it, it’s a painful release because the only way out is through I will claim a spot on the couch or bed where I will stay for hours in my own haze Taking space to be in my own world until I’ve fully rearranged what my world is anymore My energy is low I want space but also affection and Love I’ve learned t