Girls Gone Wild

Girls Gone Wild

has a new website.  Only 99₵

(for a 3-day trial), the latenight infomercial screamed

at me.  See the latest college co-eds getting down

and dirty.  I couldn’t help

but think that girls have gone stupid. 

99₵ for their collective dignities!?!  These are self-

proclaimed collegiates.  I wondered how any of them passed

basic math, if any of them even bothered

to do the math.  I did.  It came

to some bizarre fractional proportion:  1/1000 of a penny

(give or take) a girl. 

That’s the pricetag they have allowed

millions of hairy-palmed hounds to slap on their asses,

or tits, or . . . I turned the channel

in disgust.  For lack of any better options,

I picked up my pen and wrote

a letter to my congressman about the sad state

of education in this country.

--Amy Huffman