Wild Oats
It is a whole lot easier to back out of driveways than marriages; I don’t know why, but she was mighty pissed when Pat told her he was too young to marry, there were still wild oats to sow. "WILD OATS, WILD OATS?", she screamed "I’ll show you WILD OATS!" She came at him with a hammer from the tool box in the garage. He thought about hitting her but remembered the law. Instead, he ran away down the street (falling out of his shoes a third of the way down) as she chased him still screeching: "WILD OATS WILD OATS WILD OATS..." Neighbours stood around on the sidewalk laughing while I sat on the front steps - waiting for dinner or mercy - counting the ants that came out of the hole and made their way toward the faux brass railing. --Ryan Flanagan