PUNK POETRY: a poem in which I am many things by Temidayo Okun

the truth is that i think myself a bird — everytime i wake up with a song weighing down on my tongue / the truth is that i think myself a bird — when my lover carries all of me in 
hands accustomed to holding something so fragile /
                                                                                             / the truth is that i think. 
❄️
dear reader — 
in this poem — i am a shapeless thing / i am more than 70% water / i was thrown into life & left to take the form of the dreams i cannot even call my own / & one day some 

years ago — i walked out of my own body & forgot my way back / now — the emptiness i feel inside has been replaced by the many selves that make up what is left of me / now

you see why i sometimes think myself a bird / or a sad story / or a broken window / or a fleshy door that allows all the sadness to pass through without being unhinged / or 

even a mere thing that cries alone & calls it prayer / i bet you thought this was going to be a happy poem / i bet you thought that this road to salvation has been walked into 

existence yet / honestly — i don't know how to live / am i living too fast ? / or too slow ? / am i living in the right direction? / am i real ? / i ask these questions with my back 

against the locked door & my head in my hands like a sacrifice on an altar that's never beyond arm's length / what i really mean is — there is a story running faster than i am

able to live it out / & yet i have to bear the weight of the knowledge that i was created to die / because to create something stagnant is to be prepared to die before the creation / what i am trying to say is — sky daddy has no plans to die before the humans he created / i broke my piggy bank that looks more of a coffin & less of a pig / i broke it 

open & scraped the 700 naira out — just to buy myself a parcel of two of peace / enough to last me a few days as i tried to gather the many shards of my broken selves back 

together / 
                   / i can only tell you very little— just enough to help you remember. reader 
❄️
i have seen the moon cover the sun like a weary eyelid / i have heard my father shed enough tears in the darkness — to turn him into something more human than most / 

i have seen a body go to sleep — forgetting just how easy it usually is to wake up / i have seen a snake open its mouth wide enough to swallow a child / i have felt the earth 

rotate — the moment my lover spoke my name for the first time / i have tasted truth on my tongue & spat out lies / i have seen myself in the mirror as a river with a million 

tributaries / what i mean is — i am still alive. 

--Temidayo Okun

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