Holding a Baby

I was tricked into the only

Time I have ever held a baby

A friend of a friend shouted

Here and took off sprinting

I was expecting to grab on

To a beer or maybe an American Spirit

Not a poop producing machine

That passed itself off

As a miniature human

 

I tried to hold the thing

At arm’s length, but I hadn’t

Been to the gym like I resolved to

And after about 30 seconds

My elbows started quivering

Trying to get a grip

On the morbidly obese creature

So I had to bring it to my lap

But it kept staring at me plotting

When it was going to vomit

All over my mostly clean shirt

 

It had already sucked the life

From one woman—infecting

Her with its parasitic motivations

So I sat it down on the ground

And tried to escape

But it kept falling over unable

To support its own bulk

And attracting unwanted attention

With its incessant wails

 

I cautiously extended one toe

Placed it firmly on the slobbering

Beast’s back and made

Sure it stayed upright

I guess even I have some

Maternal instinct

 

 

--Jessica Hylton